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the day hasn't been totally wasted: I did it #-) the XF filk that bugged me for the last 36 hours or so. now, it ain't exactly accurate, and I am not certain about a couple of words - of their being words, that is '-) but on the whole? hot damn #-) in the most tender memory of Milagro, ( Living Next Door to Mulder )~ *sniff* hellp... gimme some hardcore mindbending MSk, pls... Tags: ff, mine, poetry, xf, бред
mood:  accomplished
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apathy wtf..?! and body, if you absolutely have to sleep half a day, could you please extract some pleasure from it & not feel beaten up? ... ... .... ... ...fandom in haiku? after all, we are flesh and blood, but some of us just keep coming back. ~ cream, honey, brandy, ashes, wine, a dash of blood before dark chocolate. ~ a long time ago in a story told backwards there'd be only stars. ~ that, and some fiddling with the layout, and a new icon. I feel rotten #-S Tags: fandom, mine, poetry
mood:  exanimate
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I've been... waiting #-( and trying not to think, and missing people, and sleeping through days, and making user bars. they are... crunchy? my new headset works, all parts of it. I might talk at you online now. omg. said headset had been acquired on my way to the therapist... [1] I have found, after two sad attempts, *the* bus stop I must get down at so I would not have to walk around half the city. the stop the way from which takes me past a stationery & computer accessories shop, so '-) and [2] what with seasons changing and new sights and so on, there are now splashes of bougainvillea the color of diluted blood - and cool white. I wanted to stay there, in the street, and just touch cool paper-dry and thin petals-that-are-actually-leaves... bougainvillea
blooms white today. oh brother,
honestly, green blood? meep... do come. coooome heeeere... *headdesk* Tags: mine, p&c, poetry
mood:  cranky
sound: Moogwai - Viola
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it has been written long ago by masters cast in marble, and bronze, and word almighty why then, pray, must we replay the wicked game and long for something a hair's breadth beyond and live, and love, and bleed and hate because a heart is wired just that way and taking this longing out might just kill? red wire..? Tags: mine, poetry
mood:  sad
sound: leonard cohen - take this longing
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my eyes are almost bleeding, so no more drawing tonight. alas. consider glasses?.. (but that ribbon looks effing nice #-) and I've just been scared out of my wits by CD tray gently & unexpectedly sliding out and touching my leg. must adjust the burner's options so's it won't do so again. and on that CD [of 700 MB capacity] went a file of about 707 MB, don't ask me how. see, I tried to compress it further with AGK, set 690 MB size limit, and the result turned out... right, 734 MB. ah, software. at times like this I look at thee and feel a young innocent barbarian again. how ever, on a CD it is now, so I am officially guilty of video piracy. yo-ho. it's a great pity we cannot control our dreams. of course, then some of us wouldn't wake up ever for a long, long time... on the other hand, I'd sleep much easier tonight without Harris's Italian flashbacks possibly waiting around the corner of the conscious. aw, crossfandoms... [have you seen From Hell? some of Fred's visions, when he walks through the twilight London, bumping into people familiar and not, dead and alive, and those he has yet to meet... that's exactly the feeling] tell me a bedtime story?! you walk in my dreams I walk in my dreams through a day and another we go places, and seams unravel too true to be good... oh brother, where the hell are you?! Tags: mine, p&c, poetry
mood:  sleepy
sound: Dracula's Wedding in my head
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the film I've been waiting to see all this week? missed all but end credits, because I'm st00pid, what. the... picture thingy I spent several hours torturing last night? had to delete the end result, it was bad bad. [on the plus side, have installed the Equalizer, finally, mmm shiny] the good things I ought to be doing with all the new & old artsy stuff? did not even touch them. because I suck. not for long, hopefully, but still. and the day began so wonderfully well, with a good old V&V naughty idea curled comfortably round my brain... ah, snap! the only good thing about this life deal is the music. mraow... [I have not touched you today not with a hand nor with an eye, and memory I locked away today we walked alone...] P-poetry, confound it! '-) Tags: mine, p&c, poetry
mood:  apathetic
sound: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Dead man in my bed
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night: press face to glass and look out into you... ah, humanitybecause of family ties, and cut-glass finesse & delicacy, and being too sharp for one's own good... and damn, haven't we been there before? snake-like, arcanum lies coiled between the pages - words lie in thy mouth ...lilac? Tags: cg, mine, p&c, poetry
mood:  listless
sound: simple minds - Dancing Barefoot
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ensnared in a web of asphalt grey and brilliance eye-piercing, trapped: mapped: pinned to the city map we stand live walls climb up - a hundred thousand candles - we walk the night the edge of winter: late November, no rest in peace, we last and lie in waiting, we tumbleweed islands, we avert our faces - and yet cannot escape the light. Tags: mine, poetry
mood:  exhausted
sound: Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet with Butterfly Wings
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[waiting for Pendergast] we're far, oh so far we could probably touch on the other side, world standing still just this once, just for us but six weeks is too much and the waiting would certainly kill but this once, just this once, shall we dance, words and stars twisting tongues and new scars, papercuts ... black & white photographs. ~ alternately, pefect drugs #-) Tags: mine, p&c, poetry
mood: cranky
sound: REM - Walk Unafraid
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[1] I am invisible, apparently, yes? [2] have been blown away. burned to ashes & blown away like anything. pure visual explosion of grace plus acoustic orgasm? of thin men: you move like you speak like you touch like you twist turnskin inside out you smoke and mist you free fall and no wings and matter of art you light as the breeze, like a blade through a heart Tags: cg, mine, poetry
mood:  ecstatic
sound: Replica
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but it feels so good. despite head hurting like *hell* and real life biting the wind and... ah, it feels so good. like being in love. slightly drunk, slightly high, light-headed... and once again so hard you make it to believe that you & me weren't meant to be, actually '-) I'm just a girl looking for a perfect mindfuck... oh, wait. no longer looking #-) Tags: mine, poetry
mood:  enthralled
sound: Muse-Sunburn
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okay, the wretched thing works, but just barely. tomorrow the cable is to be changed. uh... cross everything? ~ in other news, we all need a holiday badly #-) ...and I am haunted - plagued - by the ghosts of stuff I won't write, ever. because I am a coward, a bloody perfectionist, and just a bit too sensible at times. but... the pictures, the mental images, are here & won't go. ...and then someone more daring & a better writer will do them. or Master Cohen will sing about it. *facepalm* ought to be sleeping, really, for tomorrow's gonna be a madhouse... am not. ~ sunset and moonrise, and whisper of sea waves on the sand[s]... and flowers. garlands. shoot mea star falls, sinking under waves, and silent is the sea. forgetting all your earthly ways you come at last to me. ... and slowly the world expands, unfurl the deepest skies... between the waters and the sands a star falls in your eyes. Tags: mine, poetry
mood:  tired
sound: leonard cohen - a thousand kisses deep
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I am spending money on the net & spamming my flist. how we missed that... the thing is, what I've just spent the money on will be delivered, if I know anything about them Russians, in the beginning of March. somewhere around the 8th of March. the irony. last year it was OUaTiM, IIRC... some get flowers, some get chocolate, and I get crack in the shape of slim dark men with peculiar ways of thinking. fancy #-) oh, wth. I'm hungry. figures. hungry for your touch, and thirsty for your waters: oceans in your blood, and spears of your mind. times will never match, and names will never matter: open, flow & flood the tides of heart that bind us. Tags: 20k, mine, poetry
mood: lyrical
sound: Sarah Brightman - Captain Nemo
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do you know my poetry? © the day only got more weird. and the hallucination I'm currently living through is - even phonetically! - one big cosmic joke. so? an answer to the bit scribbled this morning, and in a different language, too. [facepalm] ...А слышу я - падучую звезду, огонь во льду, горящий замерзая, одну стрелу, что походя пронзает рай - сердце - ад - три мира на лету. Tags: mine, poetry
mood: still freaked out
sound: Radiohead - A Wolf at the Door
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again, with feeling... oh fuck. so impolite, yet so true. okay, I gave in & looked up pictures from Troy [not that I have time/strength/will to go movie watching anytime soon, but]. eff...... [1] bloody, bloody Oldie!!! after their Odysseus, Son of Laertes I just can't calmly see that epic. any godsdamned Greek epic. but I might have to, just for the kicks! ow, ow, blast X-) [2] men. with. bows? [bloody Oldie again!] damn, damn, damn, like I needed a new fixation. ow! (I look at you, swift death in pretty armour of human flesh, and ages fall apart, and Heavens part, and what I see is Thunder...) trippin'!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Tags: mine, poetry
mood: freaked right out
sound: Buena Vista Social Club - Chan Chan
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call it a visual hangover '-) nobody forced me to spend half a night in picture paradise, but I did anyway... so sorry, body. pushing you too far, and all that... and then, in less than an hour, work '-) yeah, right. anyway, what this - and previous, for that matter, - posts were supposed to be about, somewhat: ~ the horror of life and justice, interrupted. not virtue and vice. ~ hot damn, if I start dreaming in haikus... also, this tune. ach, soundtracks. as if anyone needs any more nails in their metaphorical coffin lid '-) ~E, victim of sensory hunt. Tags: mine, poetry
mood:  creative
sound: Combustible Edison - Spy vs. Spy
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O.M.G... if you hear the most embarrassing squee, that's probably me. aw. sorry '-) 's just... PFO: the pretty factor overload. smoke, mist and autumn leaves. twiiiiiilight... [sigh] I'm dead and loving it '-) ~ soft-spoken demon: midnight, rain, stone, and vine broken at the root. ~ ruby me '-) Tags: mine, poetry
mood: ecstatic
sound: Meatloaf-I Would Do Anything For Love
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at ten tomorrow the end of dusty road something will begin black, blue, and smokin' dance your bleedin' heart out gun too hot to hold I wander... '-) tomorrow. here. OMFG, finally '-) ["Sir, I didn't see nothing, I was just getting home late..."] and since this night's just so very musical, from Outkast's Dracula's Wedding: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your're all I ever wanted, but I'm terrified of you See my castle may be haunted, but I'm terrified of you I've cast my spell on millions, but I'm terrified of you... (DW? why? why, all the way down, baby... and sufficient down becomes up... '-) Tags: mine, poetry
mood:  happy
sound: Oasis - Fade In-Out
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young moon hangs low above the garbage bins, hungry cat's eye. [to Chris] paper survives the many kinds of fire... we slash. and burn. no fire escapes. flames leave via the roof. head's full of embers. "reset" I press again. oh the frustration of mice and men! [in character] both pen and canvas you escape, perfection... how dare you! taming new art form around one's midnight, reason's nightmare. call it a night, weave into a dream this fey crimson thread '-) Tags: mine, poetry
mood:  indifferent
sound: Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah
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crushed
okay
tipsy
mellow