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Israeli bureaucratic machine is sloooooooooow. e.g., in an office stuffed with computers, maintaining a sensible online presence & connected to all manner of other institutions I still have to come in person to communicate my data to various clerks. and I can safely bet the very data had been stored for weeks in their database. fcking yay. ~ have sketched a script for the fanvid, am now afraid to touch it. like MA, the movieverse used to be a happier place - well, at first sight, - and here I... n-aww... oh, *headdesk* n. ~ and then there were zombies. in Ankh-Morpork. ...WAIT. there ARE zombies in Ankh-Morpork. a few well-known citizens, in fact... ...okay, there were rabid zombies in A-M. the devour-you-and-your-braaaaaains kind. zombie dogs even. *facepalm* you see what happens there? my subconscious does get contaminated with Marvel ideas, but it runs to the Disc. how mad is that? [poor Lord Vetinari was not amused. not bitten either, though. damn, once in a while I dream of the man in his natural habitat & all, and there have to be zombies all around. bloody mood killers!] Tags: dream, dw, rl
mood:  lazy
sound: Greensleeves ♥
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I dunno how he does it, but PTerry does it every time. I'm about 1/3 into Making Money, and it's an absolute delight. among other things it's an unparallelled delight of watching people be terrific at what they do & get such kicks out of it #-) ...and Lord Vetinari and his silver tongue, dammit. my inner philologist is many times dead from squee. *shuts up lest she spills semicoherent spoilers all over the place* but it does take a genius to pull all that off and make it work. nay, to dare. lucky us. ~ last night I had almost signed up for Yuletide 2007. could not find at least 3 obscure fandoms in which I'd confidently write 1000+ words. sad and lame, but true. maybe, but unlikely, subject to change. watch me freak out. [1000 words is not that bad, you've managed more at times. but deadlines! but then you can slip ( spoiler ) into a request, though it won't get written anyway probably... exactly, just think of crazy requests. *facepalm*] ~ today at Bryce we have finally touched the computers, work-wise. nummy SQL '-) ~ House MD. looks like I'll have to sell a part of my soul to get it. is the devil in? Tags: dw
mood:  mellow
sound: Modest Mouse - The Ocean Breathes Salty
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so... after much trial & error we got that book after all, for about $11, if memory serves right. gods willing, I'll read it come September [and then certain things will forever be imprinted on smoky blue and pale gold, horrible and beautiful and, exactly as I had once written, that treacle-thick & just a touch rotten sweet]. now it lies in a pile with stuff on which my dear friend's cat even refuses to puke. the ultimate contempt '-) I'm curious like the proverbial cat, and most selfishly academically interested: I may [dis]like the book all I want, but if the amount of research that went into it is as great as reported, I want to see that. I wants to know how far-fetched some of my weirder ideas truly are. and in absence of a decent library here I'll have to make do with others' books #-( stands to show how one can be quite bright and very, very stupid at the same time... ~ ah, but Mother dear surprised me pleasantly: she loved The Fifth Elephant [well, what's not to love?], and she was positively astounded by His Diplomatic Grace Mr Vimes. "I knew he was cool, but I have never thought he was SO..!" so what exactly she won't say, but, well, finally #-) even in translation he shines #-) Tags: dw, ph
mood:  content
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it looks like I'll start learning Java & Co with Bryce in late August. wanted to take the course after that one, but of course because of all the holidays it won't start till November and will end exactly by the end of DWCon 2008. so you see where my priorities lie. any way, tomorrow I sign in. la. ~ dreams are uncertain, and it's too hot to write or draw. but typing stuff down helps to while away time. 8 pages in small font. about 1/5 of it semiconsensual mindfuck. my work is that boring. as long as it does not get, like, serious, for real writing, that 1/5 is good. blast. not having a name to refer to sucks. speaking of, Mother is reading The Fifth Elephant and likes it. well #-) and in case it counts as a spoiler for somebody, the point is ( here. )and then dear Russians went & translated another wolf name-tag with all brutal and beautiful laconic expressiveness of their mother tongue. ♥ ~ regarding HP7, I'd love to see ( this. )Tags: dw, ph
mood:  cranky
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*weeps with joy* Russian LOTR fandom makes best. songs. ever. and when crystal-clear voices join and rise to heaven, singing a damn good made with love parody of some classic, my heart can't help but swell. ~ turns out you can cap the 12 Days of Hogswatch clips. ( like this. )...squee? ~ for dear Zachary, who had probably seen them already, but bis repetita placent and all that... draw me a Sith Lord! or a lamb #-) ~ that it?.. I'm so absurdly happy at the mo, I wish I could give it away in bundles. meep. Tags: dw, fandom, recs, sw
mood: content
sound: ...Не Ородруин ли это?
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bless and curse the Search This Journal thingy, because now with a click I can have *all* the sweet poison served & sorted conveniently... and what do I do when I'm already feeling *weird* about something? why, get a lethal overdose of it. that vulture-like creature crouching in a tree above the stream, waiting patiently for the body of * to float by? that'd be me. an unsavory character... speaking of characters [and I was going to use the word 'people', thought better of it, got " Real people?" sneered back at me], speaking of those tricky characters, two persons probably sharing the view of and approach to sex is not a suggestion/invitation to mindfuck! or any other kind of fuck. er. no, graphic resemblance and sort of positive/negative look is not that either. and do not ask me how mental landscapes from Thud! fit in, because they so awfully, perfectly do... mind like a city, and memory palaces, and - yes, and an entire multiverse... and stray ideas, oh gods or any other powers that be... [gods of choice?] the idea is crazy, period, but also cool. and as I lack the talent/finesse/drive/whatever to do it justice, a stray idea it will remain. hopefully. [ah, the unwritten texts, and critical mass of faith, and ideas coming back/around to bite you you-know-where!] speaking of [semi]original characters, wtf is wrong with this story?! *ages* ago, from the beginning, I knew there was this element. a reference, an *idea*, nothing big, and suddenly right about *now* my subconscious decides to share the insights, and lo & behold, the thing creeps into the limelight. argh! the ever-so-original Grey Zones of temporally frozen & fading reality... *headdesk* I so need a vacation... Tags: bad idea, dw, p&c
mood: cranky
sound: My Chemical Romance - The Ghost Of You
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I have finished Thud! last night... or rather it went & ended on me '-) and for once there was this comfortable warm feeling of a perfect timing, a perfect ending. it ended when - and where - it should... so yes. I'd love to talk about it. maybe. in places, I had almost cried from cute [and no, no baby boy was present at the moment]... ( ah. )it's a puzzle book, great to take apart slowly, great to admire the details from the big picture to the smallest things and back, great to walk read in every direction, time and again... it's just great. meep '-) [but as for reading something next... definitely no more Discworld right now, and though master Cohen is ever brilliant, I am not in the mood :-( I am, in fact, in the mood for the second round of P&C, which is just plain crazy. except where it isn't, where I am crazy... ah, well] Tags: dw
mood:  calm
sound: TNBC in my head!
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*snerk* damned if I know what possessed me to buy a copy of Guards! Guards! in its original language - and read it thoroughly just now... stupid, stupid, stupid grrl... mean, it was first love, crush, and catastrophe all rolled into one... and I thought I knew the book. and I thought I remembered the book, almost by heart, really... ha! it's this feel, tangibly real and then again not, high on something worse than spirits, when magic and mundane almost but not quite mix, and in the second half of the book the WTF?! element distilled permeates everything... oh *sugar* on a stick. am smitten, smashed, broken [but in a pleasant way], and reminded of exactly why one certain character makes me cry. damn. one hell of a trip in deed. ~ in retrospect, one bottle of Bacardi was not enough. sorry, I'm just a soppy wet drunken mess... hellp? Tags: dw
mood:  high
sound: Skunk Anansie - Charlie Big Potato
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now I fully know what 'blissed out' means & feels like. DWCon 2004 was [yes, was. damn]... 'great', 'awesome', 'amazing', 'fantastic' & the like don't quite tell the story. one of the best things ever to happen to anyone, IMHO. it was a miracle, considering the scale, and every day you could see it being performed... by us. made as it went along. dear gods, wow. we've been astounded, hugged & held, welcome, told some damn good stories, and read at to... we've learned that the world is if not full of then generously supplied with people fine. [some of whom too kindly put up with my horrible accent, bad table manners and generally frail frame of mind. God bless you and keep you!] we have indeed learned magical effects of a bra [to say nothing of a corset] '-) and the wonders of heraldry, too. no, honestly. also learned had been several basic mantras ['drink. reasonably, but do' * 'eat well, you'll need it' * 'sleep if you dare' * 'relax, but stay aware' * 'it happens. all around you' * 'if you like it, for crying out loud go for it' ekcetra... oh, and esp. 'your photoflash does not really work at long distances']. as a rather radically dressed witch had pointed out, a ConVirgin I were no more... and one could not ask for a better first time! cimes committed were those of Loitering With Intent, Stalking & Fangirling, Telling Sucking Jokes, Teasing Fellow Addicts, and Worrying the Watch & the Committee by Walking Around With Happily Glazed Expression. ah, and the gravest one: Not Staying in the Bar on Sunday Night. I plead first offence... #-) ~ at least I made notes. sort of. when I could get my mind to catch up with the rest '-) shall attempt tidying them up this weekend. ~ ...but it was only too easy, to lose your head. you turn the corner & proceed towards breakfast, but your mind stays back there, curling cat-like about bench legs & listening to him turn newspaper pages... *guilty as charged* ~ later-r-rr, loves Tags: dw, dwcon2004
mood: tiiiired
sound: Sugababes - Run For Cover
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ytem: wow, all the real things always present but somewhat lurking in other DW books in NW get into the limelight and knock the pink out of you '-) just about time the world has noticed. everything is not well at all! indeed... ytem: the book reminds me of Jingo! badly! but in a good way... in many good ways, in fact '-) its events are briefly referred to, and it's another long way home for Sam, and veni, vici... Vetinari still works here, and it's just as bloody hilarious and sad, sad, sad, and... oh. wish all you readers could listen to a Russian song about The City That Is Not. or Is Not There Yet. ytem: lilac. I was born in a city that gets drowned in lilac every spring. damn, I had lived 23 years in a lilac country. we had an asphalt-covered stripe for a yard, but it was lined with the bushes... an ode to lilac I have sung already somewhere in this lj. won't repeat myself, but it runs in my very blood, a bit of purple. I did mean it about a lilac grove '-) ytem: under that abomination of a cover the book is off black. lovely to touch, lovely to look at, with hidden patterns and shapes lurking in shadows '-) the good of the thing just finds its way out '-) (no, I'm not through with the book yet. a dozen of pages more, and wrong pages at that '-) and it reminds me of too many things at a time, hope I'll sort them out later. Tolkien, for one. damn yes '-) ytem: argh... I insist on my sword ring picture, I do! it's amazing, how clueless a man can be. well, when someone's not that kind (of a right bastard '-) to start with, and does not get it, it's OK. when a man is Sam Vimes and comes all the way long to certain things, and in the end makes an U-turn and still does not get it despite everything, it's... incredible '-) another memento from Jingo, this desire to punch the man by the end of the book [sorry, did not go away]. aw. looks like he's got an odd reaction to Lord Vetinari: whenever the two seem to damn finally understand each other, he's got to pull something. as if... afraid to admit to this ultimate understanding? and never giving it a thought, of course. damn '-) what better could I do at 1 a.m. than psychologically dissect fictional characters? alas, it's get up time at 5.30. but I'll be back... Tags: dw
mood: calm
sound: George Michael - Spinning the Wheel
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It's got to be lilac. "And greeting the end of May with flowers, Lilacs blossom..." I've grown up with it! A classic children's poem... I come from a lilac country. In May our town would be drowning in lilac. Colors - white, twilight grey, all shades of lilac, violet, purple, almost red... The heady smell when you lower your face into those generous bunches. Velvety touch, nearly heart-shaped leaves... Lilac after rain, dripping with sweet scented water... Good God. Every year I would wait for lilac to bloom. Every year I would walk the city submerged in the finest lilac haze. Every bloody year back there. Five petals on a flower are considered lucky. I still remember the taste (you had to eat the flower to get the luck). The buds like tiny purple hands holding a surprise... So this came as a stab. Straight to the heart. I cried half a night, and had the nastiest bout of nostalgia, and a mental picture really uncalled for. (I mean, it's good, nay, superb, but please not now!) There're 3 months to go. How am I supposed to make it, hmm? Dying for it. Tags: dw
mood: calm
sound: System Of A Down - Aerials
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I knew that. I did. It was one of the reasons I craved it. And yet. Honestly, I do not remember when words made me cry last time. Images - yes, but with imagery it's different... I should've known better '-) Reading Men at Arms, the book I thought I knew by heart. The throne room scene in its quiet absolute perfection left me weeping. Again. What the..? Dangerous creatures, those '-) Black velvet. Blue steel. ...Ecstasy. Tags: dw
mood:  sad
sound: Celine Dion - Seduces Me
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I give up '-) Of all things to do on a weekend I have never considered this. However, here I am, writing this odd piece, a fanfic's fanfic, an AU of an AU... argh. Bite me. This one is a model Elfie fanfic 'cause [1] it should not have been written, [2] it's a mixture of weird style and troubled emotions, and [3] no names are called. Feel free to place the names, locations and - by and large - the fandom '-) No disclaimers, for no one concerned would relate this to a supposed original. Hopefully '-) ( Imagine... ) Yes, Elfie has written this. Ff.net being still down is a lame excuse, but an excuse nevertheless. Nighty-night '-) Tags: dw, ff, mine
mood:  accomplished
sound: Sting-Mad About You
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Well, so I got fired. So was half the staff, OTOH, if one finds such sort of thing helpful. Yet some people keep calling on and telling me all about the intrigue behind the wretched business... Blergh. Sorry, but sometimes, occasionally, well, you get it, I do hate people. Selected individuals and the whole concept that encourages the stupid. So it comes back to me, occasionally... So blast it '-) Good news, though: now I may sleep again; I have just spent lotsa money on Good Omens the book (bye-bye, off-screen readin'!) - and on Lords & Ladies in Russian; I got the ethereally beautiful evening on film, which would better be a good film; I have found a stereo system designed almost after my wishes... Ah, and the page I've been struggling with half the day does behave. Hope to bring it to uploadable state soon '-) I have also laughed myself silly and sore over a story... Oh. I should not have, really. Gives me really nasty little ideas, as if I had no other things hanging in the air... Uh-huh. Naughty me. It would be Count Only To Nine, 'cause I like the number, and 9 has its own story in magic/myth, and it's almost but not quite counting to ten to try to get a grip on yourself, and... and also one small reference '-) Count on me to find romance in all wrong places '-) Oh, and it would be about, among and precedent to lotsa other things, trying to think... Trying hard... Well then. Hope the idea leaves me alone now that I have written it down. At least I would never be able to write a Mary Sue [giggle], would I? I know my vices all too well '-) And it started along the lines of my deeply disliking mankind. Fascinating! Tags: dw
mood:  annoyed
sound: a-ha - Forever Not Yours
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Wow, LJ's finally up. And so are some more pictures. Nope, still no any astounding use of the tablet, 'cause I've been - ouch - fooling around writing instead of studying it... But, but I did the shading, and using all Photoshop tools is so much damn' easier! Rules '-) So... Here's a picture of one really nice Lady. I'm still not very happy with it, but when Mom said she's got that subtle bitchy thing about her, I took it for a job well done '-) And this is, among other things, a tribute to the wonderful KPT5 FraxFlame plug-in. I was just playing with it, so the picture is an example of one-touch digital art. And it certainly looks like a Quantum Weather Butterfly '-)) PS, since I do not want to touch the previous entry ever again: more guilt on me the writer, for the blinking world belongs to Messrs Oldie, and whoever recognizes the I'm sorry joke... And I am geographically illiterate, in the Roundworld too, unless I have a good map '-) And I have just slept through the fireworks on the night of our Independence Day... Bite me. Tags: dw, mine, pix
mood:  artistic
sound: Dire Straits - Brothers in arms
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'Been practicing my 'Argh' all working day long. Got it perfectly. The classical 'argh', the bored-to-death-with-this-bloody... 'aargh' and the 'arrrrghhh!' when ppl tried to shove me into my desk '-) The favourite among younger co-workers radio station keeps playing the legendary Dust in the Wind. Nice. With an occasional dose of Leonard Cohen, which is even better. I like music playing while I work, otherwise it's odd characters occupying my head '-) Try to concentrate on papers with 3 dialogues fighting for your mental space someday... [ mental space, how appropriate] And, mind you, with all the fuss I still get nothing written! Aarrrrgh I'm afraid it's a knack. (The Good Day... remember? '-) I love my listsibs, in an odd way. We seem to have caught the same virus of cautiously walking around a subject, saying the same thing with different words, having lots of fun and actually not getting anywhere '-) But the how of it, the process! It so appeals to the eastern part of my soul... [no, I'm not going into that East/West maze again, thanks!] Why does it all remind me of Cohen's In My Secret Life, hmm? Oh. When my slight obsessions get a soundtrack, it becomes really, seriously bad. First it had to be Untouchable, now it's Light as the Breeze... Not good. There's blood on every bracelet, you can see it, you can taste it, and it's Please baby please baby please... - Just in time for our discussion of the, um, violent streak... Dangerous. I adore Leonard. ...and it ain't exactly prison, but you'll never be forgiven for whatever you've done with the keys. - Er... Guards? Guards?.. I'd better get some sleep now '-) Tags: cohen, dw
mood:  blah
sound: Bon Jovi - Say It Isn't So
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This entry was supposed to be about love, but I don't know any more. It all started, as usual, with a book. A book opened at random. And then, naturally, it leapt out at me. I apologize for any mishaps of my back-into-English-from-Russian translation. "Who tied the reins of Power into a love knot?" (Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers) Moments like this throw me into a specific state of happy depression. When you see your efforts of last few weeks or so put so perfectly into one single sentence, you're bound to question your motivation. It's exasperating. It's beautiful. And then there was this to rekindle me: "...I think if anybody hangs in there long enough at whatever they're doing - whether it's fishing or journalism or cabinet making - it represents a kind of heroic attention, because almost everything in the world conspires to whisper in your ear, at increasing volume, "Sit down and shut up." So, anybody who continues to show up at whatever they're doing deserves a certain kind of applause." (Leonard Cohen, from interview to Musician Magazine, November 1993) So, be blessed all brave souls. Life is a challenge. Writing is a challenge. Writing on some topics is like walking the rope on a dare. And yet we try. We even dare being good at it. Hooray! Marina Tsvetaeva wrote that, to love, everything is a sign. That love would always find it. Considering the amount of coincidences happening to me, there should be a great love. I'm afraid there is, only not quite what it would be expected to be. My heart should be crowded, only there's enough time, space and alternate reality involved to make a place for everyone. Scary. Looks almost like a template is set there to scan the L-Space ( not in DW sense!) for a special kind of person (again, no reference meant). I only wish I knew what it is looking for '-) An elegant example of coincidences & knots: ~ "...And it was dreamed all the stronger by people who didn't sleep." (Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times) - read yesterday and frowned upon for ringing a bell; ~ "...but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. This I did." (T.E.Lawrence) - recalled shortly after, oh damn; ~ and a reference to T.E.Lawrence in Beautiful Losers - stumbled upon today. It's just words. OTOH, it's the just words that make the world such an interesting (albeit dangerous) place. Argh '-) Tags: cohen, dw
mood:  naughty
sound: Discworld - Sioni Bod Da
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The day was quite eventful: I've discovered what wonders butter does to Uncle Ben's rice (yummmm), I've (finally) spilled some orange juice on my computer screen, and I've done something for the poor nearly forgotten site of mine. Not that I can show that something yet, though. How typical... I have also tried to draw a Diamonds & Rust picture [don't you ask], having my head screwed upon trying to create a fractal twirl in Photoshop. No luck there, of course, but I have managed this... Not bad, is it? And cracking '-)  Well, back to the board with me. I'd write for one of the neverending fics of mine, but Reason refuses to cooperate, grumble, grumble. Gotta nudge her tonight '-) Tags: dw
mood:  creative
sound: Guns and Roses - You Could Be Mine
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Still LJ, still fun. Amazing. One thing missing: gotta find meself a picture... J/K '-) Costume designs, as promised. The evil thought had struck me long ago, but today it took a more serious, if possible, direction. No tiffany silliness, no bells, no pink shades - that serious. The main idea remains, though. Silk. Heavy, 'wet' silk, champagne-colored, glittering softly, gently clinging to bare skin, whispering against it. Gold. Lots of gold. White gold, more exactly. Gold woven in chains of various patterns and sizes. Rings, bracelets, necklaces, belts... An earring perhaps. A few topazes - or diamonds, I haven't decided yet. Play of light: slow, almost languid gleam of gold - and an unexpected sharp sparkle. Chains and spirals forming mesmerizing patterns on bare chest. An enticing contrast of warm shining metal and pale, translucent, almost blue tinged, cool skin. Lipgloss could be a nice touch. Smooth... Moving silently, with a kind of grace that makes you look for a stiletto concealed somewhere about him, even though that would be physically impossible... Mmmm. And at least as long as I do not have a tablet, it will remain a pure bit of weird imagery. Good '-) Speaking of tablets, what's worse: paying 35$ more for the thing here, at home, or trusting my relatives ( eek) to bring one from the States? Hate dilemmas... Tags: dw
mood:  crazy
sound: Garbage - Untouchable
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